Everyone has emotions. It‘s a simple fact – a part of our being human. And whether we realize it or not, these emotions impact us every day. They also impact those around us, both in the workplace and in our personal lives. Your emotions are a part of you. It is ok to feel the way you do. Anger, Stress, Frustration. You have a huge number of emotions every day. Think of a time when you experienced an emotion; for example, joy. Perhaps you had a great weekend or accomplished a difficult task at work. How did this emotion impact your mood, your energy levels and the conversations you had with friends or co-workers? Now think of a different emotion; for example, anger. Perhaps a co-worker said something that ‘rubbed you the wrong way‘ or you thought that a friend betrayed a confidence. How did this emotion impact your mood and your behaviours? Perhaps you sent an angry email or said something in the heat of the moment that you later regretted. You need to manage your emotions to become successful as a human being. There are good and bad consequences of your actions because you either managed or did not manage your emotions.
Hence the power within you. There are six skills or competencies within you and we will explore them shortly. These six skills are the POWER within you and are fully in your control to manage your emotions. You just need to be aware of them. Your emotional intelligence can be developed and improved over time. All that is required is practice, a desire and commitment to improve, and a foundation of self-awareness. It is the starting point for your development journey.
The Skills: Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a set of skills that help us better perceive, understand and manage emotions in ourselves and in others. Collectively they help us make intelligent responses to, and use of, emotions. These skills are as important as your intellect (IQ) in determining success in work and in life. Everyone, no matter what job function, has interactions with other people. Your capacity to understand your emotions, to be aware of them and how they impact the way you behave and relate to others, will improve your ‘people‘ skills and help you ultimately be more satisfied and successful.
The model below shows you the following: The blue middle circle is the actual skills you possess to manage your emotions intelligently. These six skills are also referred to as competencies and are a POWERFUL tool. You could say they are your sleeping giants. The white inner circle – are unproductive mental states and the grey outer circle are productive mental states. The blue middle competencies of the model help us “be” the productive states on the outside of the model, as opposed to the unproductive states, that we can all be at times, on the inside of the model.
Let’s explore the six competencies/skills:
SELF-AWARENESS – Self-Awareness is about being aware of the way you feel and the impact your feelings can have on decisions, behaviour and performance. People who are emotionally self-aware are conscious of the role their feelings can play in these areas and are better equipped to manage this influence effectively. When we are emotionally self-aware we are present with the role feelings are playing in our decisions, behaviour and performance. When we are not, we are often disconnected from this influence.
AWARENESS OF OTHERS – Awareness of others is about perceiving, understanding and acknowledging the way others feel. This skill helps us identify the things that make people feel valued, listened to, cared for, consulted, and understood. It also helps us demonstrate empathy, anticipate responses or reactions, and adjust our behaviour so that it fits well with others. When we demonstrate this skill effectively we come across as being empathetic. People who do not demonstrate this skill can come across as being insensitive to the way others feel.
AUTHENTICITY – Authenticity is about openly and effectively expressing oneself, honouring commitments and encouraging this behaviour in others. It involves honestly expressing specific feelings at work, such as happiness and frustration, providing feedback to colleagues about the way you feel, and sharing emotions at the right time, to the right degree and, to the right people. People high in authenticity are often described as ‘genuine’ whereas people low in this skill are often described as ‘untrustworthy’.
EMOTIONAL REASONING – Emotional reasoning is about using the information in feelings (from oneself and others) when decision-making. It involves considering your own and others’ feelings when making decisions, combining the information in feelings with facts and technical information, and communicating this decision-making process to others. Feelings and emotions contain important information. For example, the level of commitment colleagues demonstrate often provides insight into whether a decision is going to be supported; the emotional appeal of products and services often provides insight into selling and marketing messages. When this type of emotional information is combined with facts and technical information, people make expansive, creative and well thought-out decisions. Conversely, people who do not use emotional information and focus on facts or technical information only tend to be limited in their decision-making.
SELF-MANAGEMENT – Self-Management is about managing one’s own mood and emotions, time and behaviour, and continuously improving oneself. The modern workplace is generally one of high demands and pressure, and this can create negative emotions and outcomes. Our mood can be very infectious and can, therefore, be a powerful force in the workplace; productively or unproductively. This skill helps people be resilient and manage high work demands and stress rather than being temperamental at work. People who are proficient in managing their own emotions are optimistic and look to find the opportunities and possibilities that exist even in the face of adversity.
POSITIVE INFLUENCE – Positive influence is about positively influencing the way others feel through problem-solving, feedback, recognizing and supporting others work. It involves creating a positive working environment for others; helping others find effective ways of responding to upsetting events, and effectively helping people resolve issues that are affecting their performance. This skill helps people create a productive environment for others. Positive Influence equips you with the capacity to encourage colleagues to cooperate and work effectively together. People who can positively influence others’ moods, feelings and emotions are empowering to work with and easily motivate those around them.
By using these six skills/competencies you can develop your emotional intelligence effectively and be highly productive. Emotional intelligence can also be measured accurately. Looking at the scale below, in terms of the level of importance and level of your demonstration on the six skills, where do you think you would be?
Do you want to measure yourself or your team? Just contact me at anytime.